Thresholds

The Beast, a freight train that carries minerals, cement, and other materials, starts in Chiapas near the Guatemalan border and snakes its way through Mexico to the US Along its route, migrants jump on and off, gripping at and letting go of its metal body. The Beast moves quickly, helping migrants skip checkpoints. Riding The Beast is dangerous, which is why it’s also known as The Death Train.

In 1995 a group of volunteer women started making food and throwing it at the side of the train, so migrants who were riding could catch it. Today, Las Patronas prepare between fifteen and twenty kilos of rice and beans every day. When The Beast passes through, the women have approximately fifteen minutes to throw the food-filled bags and bottles of water into the migrants’ outstretched arms. 

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I became a professional end-of-life doula because I felt completely powerless in the face of death. What to feel? What to do? How to be of use?

When people are dying, they often reach for someone or something that is invisible to the rest of us. They can smile, wave, nod, or talk to people others cannot see.  

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In the end-of-life doula world, people who are dying are called clients.

In a documentary about Aguilas del Desierto, a man wearing a long-sleeve neon yellow shirt and a straw hat yells out: “We’re Aguilas del Desierto, we have water, we have food.” He carries a backpack, and on top of it, a large wooden cross painted white. He’s accompanied by other volunteers, also wearing long-sleeve neon shirts. Together, they search the desert for lost migrants. They don’t call them lost migrants though, they call them “our migrant brothers.” Many of the volunteers have lost loved ones attempting this same journey.

Hundreds of people go missing each year in the Sonoran Desert trying to make their way to the United States. Aguilas del Desierto, just one of multiple volunteer groups, has rescued eight hundred migrants from the desert. They’ve also found 150 lifeless bodies. Most of them died from dehydration.

The white crosses that the volunteers carry are placed in the ground where the remains of our migrant brothers are found.

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In the end-of-life doula world, people who are dying are called clients. This is a strange way to refer to them since it imbues the relationship with a transactionality many of us may not feel accurately represents it, on top of the fact that some of us do this work without requiring payment. The origins of the word client are noble though, since it was hoped this term would help move away from the word patient. The word patient, among other things, suggests an imbalance in a relationship, and the nature of doula work is built around the notion that the doula and the dying person are equals. We do not cure, we do not save.  

We also support clients’ loved ones before, during, and after a death. One way we can do this is by asking these loved ones about difficulties in their own lives and how they dealt with them. We seek to remind them what they did that made them feel strong. We accompany them.

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Some organizations on the US side of the border have also tried to help migrants. Humane Borders, for example, installs, refills, and maintains dozens of water stations in the Arizona Sonoran Desert. The water stations are located in the areas where most of the migrant deaths have been recorded. Sometimes, hot weather or vandalism make the water at the stations undrinkable. Humane Borders staff and volunteers test and taste the water, making sure that it’s free from algae and safe to drink.

Blue flags mounted on thirty-foot poles can be seen from a distance, signaling to migrants where the water stations are. Often, near the flags, volunteers find worn-out clothing, shoes, and empty water bottles.

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End-of-life doulas reinforce self-advocacy and remind clients that they are not powerless. Part of our work is knowing when to step in and when to step back.

When a dying person tells us about another place, we ask: Would you like to tell me about it?

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Since 1996, seven thousand migrants have died in the deserts along the US-Mexico border.

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Many people, including myself, are afraid that they will say the wrong thing to a dying person. However, those who are sick usually tolerate mistakes made with the intention of helping.

What the dying person often finds harder to forgive is the failure to act or say anything at all.